Spiceomancy: D6x6 Catamarans

Thursday, August 6, 2026

D6x6 Catamarans

for Glaugust 2026

A catamaran is like a boat with a thigh gap, and is recognizable from a distance as fairy bullshit.

The flag on the catamaran depicts...

...many long-necked animals twisted together in a senseless knot. (braids save or vomit)
...the logos of many generous sponsors.
...an absence.
...an agreeable androgyne with ai slop hands.
...many offensive political and military icons smushed together into a hyperproblematic, lightly sentient symbolic gestalt.
...a beast playing an instrument.

The catamaran is skippered by...

...2d6 fairy slavers. Will trade people for memories and ephemera.
...1d6 fairy poets. Will trade forgotten histories (and XP) for people. (Traded persons return years later with murky memories and a level in muse.)
...1 fairy godmother. Will turn you into a fucking pumpkin for breathing on her.
...3d20 skeleton pirates. Really crammed in there.
...1d3 tigers. Invisible until you get too close.
...2 snakes. Doing their best.

While aboard the catamaran...

...one cannot be heard unless they speak in verse.
...one's head rolls off their shoulders harmlessly.
...one falls asleep. (Fairies are dangerously competent sleepwalkers.)
...right left east west north south up down here there before after inside and out are all swapped (but not reversed) (does that make sense?)
...all metal apologizes, emits a high pitched shriek, glows green, and explodes into acid.
...one is, technically, a ghost.

The right hull of the catamaran contains...

...a cache of tommyguns.
...the body of a saint.
...plutonium sherds.
...spare fairy parts (2 sets).
...a terrarium full of tiny people. Requires feeding twice daily.
...bees!

The left hull of the catamaran contains...

...a dragon heartstring harp.
...a sentient demon sword floating in blood.
...a bunch of tangled cables with no discernible purpose.
...cooked rice.
...a portal to the mirror realm.
...hibernating gnomes.

The gap between the twin hulls of the catamaran can...

...sing of its own accord, but does so backwards.
...chew and swallow smaller vessels.
...open a portal to fairyland.
...alter the color and buoyancy of the surrounding water.
...create riptides.
...shoot psychic beams 40 yards.

The skipper of a catamaran is often at the mercy of the boat's disposition, forced to visit islands or greet other vessels until the catamaran's curiosity is satisfied. Adult catamarans have 12HD and speak howl, the language of ghosts, cats, and storms. They are not particularly loyal, but appreciate a thorough deck scrub (or hull, depending on temperament).

A catamaran can only be encountered on a river, in the sea, in the sky, or in a dream. A wise man keeps their feet firmly planted on dry land.

Spiceomancy

Thursday, August 6, 2026

D6x6 Catamarans

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