Tuesday, January 23, 2024

Caster Beware! (Grimoire)

redslug (tumblr)

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1. Uninjure – Peel [sum] injuries off of yourself and others, like stickers. You can adhere these onto other things, most commonly an effigy (representing an ancestral foe) or toy (called a banebear). If you don't do this properly before sunrise, or if the chosen effigy is not given a hero's burial, the injuries befall the caster. Caster Beware! A wounded effigy (1-4HD, agony) may rise vengeful under a harvest moon. 

2. Exact Exchange – Cast on treasure worth exactly one thousand gp. That treasure is now worth the exact amount necessary to buy one thing from anyone, provided they are willing to part with it (this is how Saint Zenigo bought lightning bolts from the sky). Caster Beware! Monetary value is one of the 33 divine laws, next to gravity and the Hippocratic oath. When it is broken, a silver coin will appear on your forehead, marking you as an enemy of bankers, numismatists, accounting-beasts (dragons), and Count Argad. 

3. Diagnose – Learn the Myers-Briggs personality type of a target (animate or otherwise), then flip up to [dice] of their tendencies. Caster Beware! Mind-altering magic is always a two-way street. For each tendency of theirs you flip, the target may choose to flip one of yours. 

4. Agastaman's Torch-Bearing Lad – Conjure [dice]HD a cloud of moths around a light source. The cloud keeps the light source aloft and follows diligently. Caster Beware! The Torch-Bearing Lads Union has been known to stalk wizards who publicize this spell's existence. Not to mention Agastaman himself, found dead in his tower after slipping on an orange peel... 

5. Gracine's Garden – A sunflower rapidly grows out of each of up to [sum] target heads. Caster Beware! Removing the flower is painful (1d4 damage + 1d4 lost memories)! Gracine advises you wait a few months for the flower to wither, or cut it with a limestone knife. 

6. Swarm of Darkest Night – Conjure a swarm of climate-appropriate winged creatures. They blot out the sun for six seconds/minutes/hours/days. Caster Beware! The swarm is not yours; rather, it is a mere side-effect of summoning the demon named Porgithal ([dice]HD, rhymes with "orbital"). Now he's free, making mischief somewhere within a three mile radius, and must be sent back to Hell before anyone can cast Swarm of Darkest Night again. He looks like a pig standing on two chicken legs. Thankfully, he's not very subtle. 

7. Skate – Wherever you step, you slide frictionlessly. Caster Beware! You might fall down and get hurt :(((

8. Shape Skull – Reshape your skull (don't worry about the gunk inside). Choose [dice] of the following:

  • You have very cool antlers. People respect you more.
  • You have a single, short, powerful horn on your forehead that can punch thru iron.
  • You have a powerful (1d8) bite attack.
  • You have a partition to separate memories/ideas/skills from the rest of your mind.

Caster Beware! This spell is almost exclusively and obsessively studied by socially-inept magical racists, who may mistake you for one of them. This will get you kicked out of actual cool non-racist wizard institutions.

9. Corpse Orb – Turn a corpse you can see into a 1' diameter sphere. This works on the undead. Caster Beware! Spherical undead are (1d4): 1) harmless; 2) immobilized; 3) just as dangerous; 4) faster and deadlier than their non-spherical counterparts.

10. Grave Curse – Target deserving, unwilling victim must save or turn into a medusa, dracula, thatcher, or other pathetic creature of the night. (entirely unchanged from phlox's version, i just wanted to remind myself to put this on more spell lists because it rocks)

Working Through the Backblog

I am three months behind on blogging. Since then, 142ish blog posts have been linked on the GLOG server. In catching myself up, I decided for basically no reason at all to note my favorites: (i had a lot of favorites)