Tuesday, February 1, 2022



This isn’t Legamon. Just slap this into your random encounter table.

Goblin goblin-tamer
HD 2; AC as leather; d6/d6 (grub-on-pole)
Carries 1d6 (exploding!) cages containing at least that many goblins.

The “tamed” goblins come in a few stages (d4):

  1. The basic gob: HD 1; d6
  2. The evolved gob: HD 2; d6/d6. edgier and a little bit taller
  3. The extra-evolved gob: just 2 of the basic gob. You must fight them as if they are one
  4. The legendary gob: HD 3; d6/d6/d6, is in fact just a rabid wolverine

The tamer will insist you follow the rules of gobby battles. They insist on 1v1 turn based combat. Switching out players takes a turn. Beyond that, go nuts. Spectators are more-or-less fair game.

Breaking the rules too much leads to an all out brawl; all the cages open, and the goblins run wild.

[sidenote: goblins can be convinced to fight under any pretense or new set of rules if it sounds fun. A common response to goblin raids is to challenge them to less lethal sports, such as hide and seek or ultimate frisbee. Frequent rules updates keep them from getting bored]

Each goblin has 1 or 2 types (d20):

  1. Fire; can start a fire anywhere dry
  2. Water; web-toed, can spit with high accuracy within 20’
  3. Flying; can jump over a house, is covered in sticky feathers
  4. Ground; can burrow in loose soil as fast as you can walk
  5. Electric; deals 1d6 to anything that touches it directly or thru a conductive material, always hits foes in metal armor
  6. Dark; has a bag full of smoke bombs and sneak attack dice
  7. Poison; infectious bite delivers (1d4) greenrot; fulminating plague; rust; mordant
  8. Bug; has a bag full of worms, a bag full of beetles, and a bag full of bees
  9. Ghost; possessed by (1d4) an old-war general; a desperate poet; an orpheme; a child
  10. Dragon; is a kobold, IQ proportional to weight of eaten gold
  11. Knife; has 17 knives, can throw them half-accurately
  12. Kung Fu; masters any martial style it observes for more than 3 seconds. Cannot be harmed by styles it has mastered. has a 5-minute memory
  13. Blood; if you smell its blood, enter a berserk rage: you cannot tell friend from foe
  14. Fungus; can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters
  15. Ooze; squishy, crawls inside your armor and dissolves your flesh with its tongue (1 HP/turn)
  16. Psyker; can emit a continuous psychic scream, deals 3d6 to everything within 20’
  17. Dwarf; wider than they are tall, gemstones for eyes, can’t be moved against their will
  18. Rat; can command rats as a Vermin King
  19. Knight; AC as plate
  20. Forcefield; if their hands are up and they shout “forcefield!”, you can’t hurt them; it’s against the rules.
  21. Grass; high as a kite

If you trade for them, you can use the goblins in sanctioned goblin-fights. If you beat the 8 goblin gym bosses, you can challenge the goblin king yada yada yada