GLOGtober Day 6: Bird Deals, Bird Crime

me doing my best scrap princess impression

There are merchants to whom you can sell your height, your fears, your memories, your dreams, your ambitions. Everything you thought could not be bought or sold can in fact be bought or sold, but only by them. They call themselves Cygnorés or Cygnards, two rival famiglias. 

They have avian heads and long, stiff necks (because they swallow all their coinage). Their fingers are skeletal and webbed. And because they are birds, they do a lot of crime.

 

It is said they never haggle, because they can see the true value of all things. This is a lie, perhaps not incepted but certainly encouraged by them.

 

Bird Deals* (d10)

1. 2-for-1 deal on human souls. Need I say more?
2. Special Offer: 1cm/20gp! Noblemen are lined up around the block, and walk away no taller than they were before.
3. An attempt to corner the market on worldly suffering; they'll buy your hunger to sell as a novelty to celestials. You'll need to eat twice as much to avoid starving to death.
4. 50% off the Fate of a Chosen One.
5. Memories of a long lost loved one, bottled, advertised as an "interactive multi-media experience." Literally painful to recollect.
6. Curses and mutations. They'll remove them for cheap, then turn and sell them at a premium to local bog witches, who will hex you all over again. That's business baby.
7. They want 6-8 hours of sleep each night, to sell to insomniacs.
8. 5 gp for a lifelong friendship with some rando, who will recognize you and clap you on the back and invite you into his home to meet his wife and sometimes his hand drifts to yours under the dinner table but no he couldn't possibly have meant anything by it. What a steal!
9. An excellent singing voice. There's a few competing bidders; it's up to 70gp.
10. Exotic ancestry. (d6) Elf; Royal; Dragon; Troll; Bird; Lion.

Bird Crime (d10)

1. Shitting in the streets, or on people's laundry, from the rooftops.
2. Local officials have yet to suss out the sales tax on their wares, which technically makes all their transactions illegal.
3. Casual necromancy.
4. Stealing silverware, ransoming them back for crazy shit like your sense of smell.
5. Murder. Mostly geese.
6. Unlawfully parking their bison caravans under bridges.
7. Digging up graves to trade with ghosts.
8. Knocking on your second-story window in the dead of night as part of an aggressive marketing campaign.
9. Business-casual necromancy.
10. Jaywalking.

*Don't think too hard about the vendor/consumer on the other side of this interaction. Or do--I'm sure they have quite a story to tell.