d20 Ways to Keep a Corpse

For GLOGtober '23, per xaosseed's challenge:

Unusual corpse preservation methods.

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1. tune - the song of Faraway Endings; an endlessly looping song which forestalls decay in a room. played with at least three instruments
   
2. landowner - surround a large coffin with many smaller coffins; each small coffin will rot a little bit faster, while the large coffin will be free of decay. often practiced for dead kings
   
3. power - armor, weapons, a terrifying helm: a strong and well-armed corpse can fight off Decay on its own
   
4. hive - let the bees deal with it; with a little guidance they can transform a soft corpse into a resilient, reinforced comb. the tomb buzzes
   
5. left - death begins on the left side; cut the body in half, and the right side will never know rot
   
6. mourning - corpses do not decay for as long as they are being actively mourned; this is because the god of death is a big softie
   
7. marine - things don't decay in the sea because of the salt and the cold. on a related note, the Great Pacific Corpse Patch is getting pretty large
   
8. giant - as the corpse swells, loosen the skin- just enough to prevent it from bursting. repeat. repeat. the older the corpse, the longer the coffin
   
9. salon - keep corpses fresh by providing them with constant, lively conversation; the origin of stand-up comedy
   
10. leftovers - feed the table scraps (the toes, the brain, the hair) to a magic dog, and the rest will keep
    
11. wrestle - a Very Strong Man stands in the tomb, and wrestles escaping ghosts back into their bodies, keeping them fresh forever; the role of Very Strong Man is hereditary. he also needs to be naked
    
12. agile - the Grand General's coffin is in a tomb-chariot pulled by tireless cannibal steeds, such that they might outrun Decay. twelve Grand Generals have been buried this way.
    
13. wound - we have a sword of embalming; as long as someone dies by this sword, their body will keep forever. the village elder does her best to stab people before they die of natural causes.
    
14. ecstasy - okay, so like, hear me out: stuff the corpse with drugs????? HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OU
    
15. hook - with a long hook, remove the brain, the lungs, the heart, the blood, the muscle, the teeth, and so on; if emptied slowly, carefully, the corpse will keep forever. (throw the waste away)
    
16. treasurer - Decay can be bribed: fill the dead's mouth with gold and millet, and it will keep for as long as the offering lasts
    
17. invisible - that which is unobserved ceases to age (this is how druids in isolation can live for thousands of years); thus, we must hide the body, wrapping it in masks and cloaks
    
18. river - wrap the dead in semi-permeable sheets, attach weights to each end, and throw them into the river; this method turns the dead to colored stone
19. fear - living and dead alike are frozen by fear; thus, the village elder dons on a fearsome mask and terrifies the corpse into an embalmed state
20. turducken - so what we do is feed you (whole) to a python, then feed that (whole) to an alligator, then feed that (whole) to a refrigerator-dragon