Epic Level Classes

theres like 1 million of these big-monster-human-facing-away paintings
william wu

Inspired by this.

The higher your level, the less you should need to read the rules. This isn’t just a result of familiarization; rather, achieving certain levels of in-game power should trivialize the rules themselves.

If you know how to teleport, you don’t need to use the overland travel rules.

If you can breathe underwater, you don’t need to know how long you can hold your breath.
If you are fabulously wealthy, you don’t need to read mundane price tables.

With this in mind, here’s some epic level classes. You can start a campaign from these OR replace your existing class abilities piece by piece as you level up to 20. Feel free to make your own adjustments.

Here’s an Epic Wizard.

Most spells are as trivial to you as parlor tricks; treat them as cantrips.
You know three spells of great import. You may cast each once per day.

You know too many recipes, rituals, and sacred canticles to enumerate. You can always answer the following questions, as well as any number of useless riddles:

• How do we summon this magic entity?
• How do we prepare this magic recipe?
• Where can we find the magic artifact?
• Who would know the answer to this other question I have?

You can best any wizard in magical conflict, unless they are also a master. Master wizards recognize each other on sight.

And here’s an Epic Rogue.

When you attack an enemy, answer the following questions:

• Are you hidden from sight?
• Are they relaxed/very distracted?
• Have you spent at least one day studying them closely?

If you answer yes to all three, they die. If you answer yes to only one or two, they half-die.

Ignore any obstacle that would prevent you from going where you please, including locked doors, moats, walls, handcuffs, forcefields, and being swallowed by a tarrasque. They can harm you, but they cannot stop you.

Choose three non-violent actions; these are your knacks. No matter what, you always succeed when performing your knacks.

If you wish, anyone who looks at you will underestimate you.

Aaaaaand an Epic Fighter.

Anyone who looks at you knows exactly how dangerous you are. This generally dissuades lesser foes from fucking with you.

When you attack a lesser foe, they are defeated instantaneously.
If you attack a battalion of lesser foes, half of them are defeated instantaneously.
If you strike a foe three times, and you give them a chance to rout or surrender between each strike, the third strike is invariably fatal.

Describe your nemesis in three words. You cannot be killed by anything except your nemesis. And poison. Poison always circumvents fate somehow.
If you would be killed by anything other than your nemesis, you instead gain a gruesome scar and are restored to fighting form.