Interesting Maids

fkey

Doggerlands PCs are all pure-blooded dogs. Their servants, however, are imported from various nations and small isles.

For the most part, maids of a given type are all the same. You don’t need to know much more than that; you definitely shouldn't play as one of these.

1. Ardward
Smugeyed tawnylipped longwits too clever for their own good. Wear hats shaped like little boxes, which they use to hide their long, silky hair from lascivious suitors. If you are pursued by an ardward, throw a book on the ground; they'll be compelled to kneel down and scan it for grammatical errors. They're fast readers, so make it a big book.

2. Scuriani
Flattongued flipflopping slickbacks. Closely related to ducks, who they hate. The hair on their neck changes hues with their environment and emotions. Men are emotional, women are taciturn, both are easily goaded into knife fighting.

3. Dalula
Mooneyed mousy blacksaps. Born in litters of two or four: only children are especially ominous. Predisposed to diabolism, possession, and eldritch madness; otherwise personable and polite. A flame lit by a dalula burns deep, sinful crimson; it is bad luck to let a dalula carry your candle.

4. Cigner
Craning darksocketed peekers. Very hard to see in the dark, aside from their yellow pinprick pupils. Ghoulish laughter (save vs nausea), puerile sense of humor. Hide their hands, which are often deformed. Fighting custom revolves around roundhouse kicking each other in the neck.

5. Mau-mau
Sallow softboned meltymouths. Blush green. Slow to illness, quick to injury. Kindly to the point of superstition. If too harshly criticized, they bleed.

6. Iron Coastal
Clamcracking sexless boulderbrows. Glitter in the sun like fresh asphalt. Ears fold back when scheming, which is most of the time. Looking at the ocean grants them a profound sense of comfort, nostalgia, and also light precognition. Also called whalekin or welsh.

7. Nari
Lackwise hamhocked unicorns. Work quickly in the cold and glacially elsewhere. Strong singers and stronger swimmers. Born to a rich culinary and oratory tradition. Overvalued for their horns; a stumped nari is worth nothing at all.

8. Ogre
Braggadocious rosegoggled beerwolves. Drink like sinkholes and fight like bull elephants. Partially colorblind and completely artblind: beautiful dresses are like camouflage to them.

9. White
Bulbfingered blinkless beanpoles. Look older than they actually are. Pathologically restless. Every white is given an esoteric metal device at birth, the function of which they must decipher via obsessive fidgeting to attain maturity. To know this function is to know one very, very intimately.

10. Ester
Semitranslucent and perpetually on the verge of tears. Sentimental psychopaths: killing an ant makes them cry; slaughtering a calf does not. Fall in love with rivers and especially shapely hills. Molt once a year; it takes a week and a half, and is very messy.

11. Malisian
Zippertoothed picknosed filchos. Superarticulated fingers will flit into your pockets unless you brandish an iron arrow at them; a goodhearted malisian will sate this urge by simply misplacing your belongings. Quietly competent in malefic, the written language of the first necromancers; any malisian who learns magic gets their fingers cut off. They have no country.

12. Praian
Gloamy looseleaf horsecels. Laugh easily and quietly. Invented the game of charades and the dark art of mime. Hopeless romantics with showy courtship rituals. Compensate for their incomprehensible accents by having nothing of import to say.

a cigner, iron coastal, and white
as interpreted by my fiancee