Neuropathological Sidekicks for Wizards

Maufesto (vice: refined taste; spell: detect poison)
(except anything nonalcoholic also counts as poison)

When something especially frightening, dramatic, or embarrassing occurs, gain a random Vice (d40).

1. Chain Smoker (Cannot hold breath, persistent stink)
2. Nervous Giggles (-1 to Stealth checks)
3. Refined Taste (Cannot drink water)
4. Daydreams (Act last in initiative)
5. Absent-Minded (-1 to Brains checks)
6. Miserable Bastard (-1 to Reaction rolls)
7. Bleeding Heart (Take 1 damage after each of your attacks)
8. Twitchy Eye (Cannot aim for shit)
9. The Yips (-1 to Strength checks)
10. Creepy Smile (-1 to Charisma checks)
11. Shaky Hands (Cannot pick locks or defuse bombs)
12. Milk Drinker (Only drink milk)
13. Poor Hygiene (-1 to Reaction rolls)
14. 'Fraidy Cat (Afraid below 1/2 HP) All characters have an immutable fear response: fight, flee, freeze, or fawn. If you don't know yours, pick or roll it whenever it becomes relevant.
15. Honorbound (Cannot retreat)
16. Queasy (-1 to Constitution checks)
17. Doomed (-1 to Fate checks) 
18. Bottomless (Consume double rations)
19. Rage Machine (Yell before each of your attacks)
20. Punching Bag (Take +1 damage from striking attacks)
21. Flagellant (Take +1 damage from slashing attacks)
22. Martyr (Take +1 damage from stabbing attacks)
23. Penny Pincher (Cannot part with money)
24. Sloppy (-1 to Grace checks)
25. High Strung (-1 to Nerve checks)
26. Lazy (Cannot run)
27. Fainting Spells (Save or lose a turn when a spell is cast)
28. High Roller (Save or raise the stakes)
29. Dependent (Choose another character, -1 to all checks when they are not in the room)
30. Claustrophobia (Cannot enter crawlspaces)
31. Erotophobia (Cannot enter brothels)
32. Godless (Cannot enter churches)
33. Teetotaler (Cannot drink alcohol)
34. Sinking Feeling (Cannot swim)
35. Dumb (Monosyllabic speech)
36. Emotionless (-1 to Reaction rolls)
37. Gullible (-2 to save vs lies)
38. Flirtatious (-2 to save vs charms)
39. Willowy (-2 to save vs threats)
40. Regicidal (Recognize other co-conspirators on sight)

Each vice you have grants +20xp until cured. Vices can be reliably cured by churches and brothels (like in Darkest Dungeon :D) and less reliably by a wizard or psychotherapist.

They aren't intended to be part of your character forever, unless you find them endearing. (see below)

Adan (vice: sinking feeling; spell: black tentacle)
(if there is neither water nor mirror nearby, it emerges from your pupil)

To a psychopaladin, or anyone else who can see spirits, vices are daemons (psychic shoulder-entities who cast spells and give bad advice). You may recognize some of these from the two daemon posts: for example, Dolores is the punching bag and Despite is honorbound. If you possess those vices, those daemons will be the ones on your shoulder, whispering in your ear and voicing your basest instincts.

[Also, each daemon is linked to a spell. Thus, all daemons have three names: the vice, given by doctors; the spell, given by wizards; and their own, used for personal affairs]

Vices are what happen when you possess a daemon. What happens when a daemon possesses you?

Possession is an entry on the overloaded encounter die. Make a mental save or treat with laudanum. Otherwise, you are possessed: choose arm, leg, or mouth. The daemon can commandeer those body parts to fulfill its whims.

For example, Corus wants to pocket the family photograph that doesn't belong to you. She'll first try to convince you to do it. If you refuse and she's in your right arm, she'll snatch it herself. If she's in your mouth, she'll beg pathetically for it. 

[Digression: fighting your daemons in public makes you look mad, which NPCs hate. It is socially acceptable in the Doggerlands for women to be a little mad, but not too much.]

If you agree to pocket it, she'll be placated, and you can use this to bargain with her in the future: I did you a favor last time, so you be quiet now. Not all daemons are unreasonable.

Multiple possessions must occupy different body parts. You can let a different daemon into each limb, or allow one to take over your whole body.

If you get possessed while you have no more parts to possess, you go completely mad. Roll a new PC.

[This, to me, is a more salient dungeon crawling clock than rations or lantern oil. Your mileage may vary.]

Thea (vice: dependent; spell: half duplicate)
(the missing half is always the most important part)

 The 40 vices above and the 40 daemons in the other posts don't line up, but I'm sure y'all can make it work. Here's four more to make up the difference.

• Chérie - A lump of black stone shaped like a fetus in various stages of development. Perceptive, vulgar, intellectually dishonest. Feigns helplessness to get what she desires most of all: cigars. When cast, an object you touch cries like a baby for [sum] minutes.
• Vestal - A rusty chain around your neck. Dreamily compares you to a drowned corpse; would like you to play along, cold, wet, and breathless. Cries distractingly if you have sex. When cast, your target can't breathe for as long as you hold your breath.
• Sven - You, slowly pulling snakes out of a hole in your head, with a fork. Appears in mirrors, rasps painfully. Wants to destroy everything that reminds you of your past. When cast, forget the last [sum] minutes, removing any vices gained (and other mental hitchhikers).
• Onoskelis - The back half of a pale horse. Startles at the slightest provocation, then gets mad at you for laughing at her. (She thinks everyone who isn't also terrified is laughing at her.) When cast, kick a wizard in the head for [sum] damage. All of their prepared spells go off at once, simultaneously and randomly.

more nsfw ahead

surprise ttrpg book review thinkaloud

Eagle-eyed readers may notice the table of vices is stolen from/inspired by Vice & Violence, a pornographic(!) free(!!!!) fantasy ttrpg by Rapscallion. The rest of this post is a list of various things from V&V that I liked and intend to steal for my games (more than Daggerheart ever did for me), because this is my blog and I do what I want.

• Vices as easy-on, easy-off mental injuries. You pick them up quickly (friend explodes, "everyone gain a vice") and you lose them just as quickly. Keeps the game moving and the tone light, but there's juuuuust enough grit to it (thus, the post)
• goblins are born feral but become normal members of society if you feed them hallucinogenic mushrooms
• they also use their giant ears as parachutes :^) 
• Giant suit of armor full of tentacles you can pilot like a mech. Downside: you can't speak while inside. Upside: because the tentacles are constantly fucking you.
• when you die, 25% chance you become a ghost, 25% chance you become a zombie ← bold! exciting!
• this is because the demigoddess of death, Ninki, escorts everyone to their afterlife personally and is very busy all the time
• Also, zombies are sentient so long as they swap in fresh body parts regularly- their accounting books look like this: 17 toesies, 2 spleens, etc. etc.
• Also also, because zombies have their own accounting and upkeep needs, they have a culture that necessitates trade and coexistance with the living
• Also also also, zombies own the means of mass production (one million skeletons scribing manuscripts)
• all of this zombie stuff is covered in the example adventure, which is pretty neat on its own terms and a good introduction to the vibes of the game 
• d50 table of shrines to minor celebrities :))))
• V&V has this satirical atheist edge that I might find cringe if it wasn't so interesting to me. The old gods are tentacle monsters stranded on the moon, the new gods hate being worshiped because they had to fight the old gods they used to worship, the clerics are funny otaku types who get power from worshiping them anyway
• 2 page spread for each warlock patron, featuring a comic panel about said patron that introduces you to their character and vibe
• the warlock rules in general: you can become one on the brink of death, at any time, after which point your stats get progressively more extreme and your reaction rolls get worse with each level up.
• 2 page spread for the ritual that turns someone (of any gender) into a dairygirl who gets milked for a living. It's not "efficient" layout, but it's all gameable: NPC type, PC background, magic item for performing a ritual to trade incomparables (being able to wear fitted armor → high value resource: milk)
• I love the way this pdf uses its layout in general. If this were a print book I'd be more picky, but the big 2 page spreads about a single topic are very vibey for a free pdf.
• another incredible innovation: 400 page pdf with a dick or tit on every other page to keep your attention
• Downtime rules for orgies! Excellent! I simply must steal these for something
• quoting someone else: "the entire planet being a megadungeon and the dwarves just being the previous layer's inhabitants who survived having a new world being dropped on top of their heads"
• all the funny animals (best of all, the splatcats)
• rules for a character's refractory period (longer than the rules for hp and death, lmao)
• parasitic mermaid fish who bite the legs of sailors and become their tails
• the stupid story of House Seamanswallow- dominated the seas with krakenships by feeding them sailors, until someone figured out you could feed them fish instead
• a pretty good mishap table (you explode, your clothes explode, etc.) and a funny progression mechanic (cross entries off your mishap table as you gain wizard levels) 
• some extremely stealable starting equipment (arena blood sponge, wooden wedding ring, bagpipe guitar) 
• mechanics for very specific brawling skills (using a corpse as an improvised weapon, dumping snow down someone's pants)
• I genuinely like a lot of the background characters. Some of them are even recurring!- two example adventurers from character creation reappear in the setting details section (they're fucking now, of course) and an evil rhyming fairy monster returns in the bestiary 
• actually, the writing is good in general. Here's a few one liners I like:
• It is a thaumaturgical law of the universe that the last thing a book shop owner wants to do is serve customers.
• You're on fire. This is considered a pressing issue. 
• Remember, if you don't want to be a zombie anymore, just run headfirst into a wall. 
• Wizards don't run fast, they run first. 

 

also i like the art style
all my other comments are objective fact tho