Monday, August 16, 2021

Dragons are murderhobos


Dragons see the world as players do. No, not PCs; players.

Dragons are big, scaly murderhobos with breath weapons. Reality is a game to them, and they’re very concerned with winning it. They’ve been playing for a very long time.

They use XP for GP, obviously.

According to a dragon, everyone else is an NPC. You’ll need to demonstrate your own player-ness and buy into their worldview if you expect to be treated as a sapient being. Other dragons are rarely exempt from this scrutiny, although they do acknowledge that if anyone were to be a self-aware actor, it would probably be someone who looks like them.

Draconic is the language of ego. There is one subject pronoun (wild guess as to which one), and all other objects are discussed in relation to it. Treating others as self-aware actors is a great shame for dragon-kind.

No matter how long their lives, how big their hoards, or how potent their magicks, all dragons fear being some nerd’s role-playing device.

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You can replace your eyes with a dragon’s—their eyes are huge, so this will take some effort—to see the world as a dragon sees it; pliable and comparatively unreal, like a reflection at water’s edge. Poor creatures; someone must have written them all wrong.

In times of uncertainty, you may hear murmurs, laughter, and the sound of clattering dice. By paying EXTREMELY close attention, you can attune yourself to the world beyond the veil and learn their secrets. Basically, this allows your character to metagame within the fiction by eavesdropping on players outside the game.

Try to prevent your character from understanding this too deeply; if they lapse too far into existential dread, they’ll go mad and become a dragon.

(Inspired by PCD's classic post)

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